After measuring the head, heart rate, spine, arms, legs, and brain - the tech showed us the little bum and told us that we were having a baby GIRL. It was what we had felt and imagined (though we would have been happy either way), and the confirmation that it was our first daughter made us both giddy. We cheered and I cried a little. We even got to see our baby girl’s fingers all spread out and waving, which we were told was a rare occurrence (usually their hands are wrapped into fists). It was one of the happiest days of my entire pregnancy.
*****
I got involved with the community theater’s summer show. It was a lot of fun to do and I enjoyed myself immensely. People figured out pretty quickly that I was pregnant when at 19 weeks I suddenly had a bulge where I had never had one. I got the usual questions - how far along are you? How are you feeling? What are you having? Etc. I was starting to get sick of answering the exact same questions from every single person, however, until one night I got a very different response to one of my answers.
I was approached by a girl named Melissa who I actually knew from before because she took voice lessons from my mom and we had seminary classes together. She told me congratulations on being pregnant and said that little girls are so much fun - and asked the typical questions. Then she asked me a question that I hadn’t been expecting, “So you’re probably planning on giving birth in the hospital?”
I said yes, but that if I had had the option, I would have chosen to give birth in a birthing center but there aren’t any of those in the area and I don’t want to drive to Provo when it is time for the baby to come. Melissa said that she had felt the same way, until she found out about a midwife in the area. … I was shocked, to be honest. This conversation was happening apparently out of the blue, and was going a way that I had never expected it to go. A midwife in Vernal? I had never heard of such a thing. So of course, I started asking Melissa questions, and the answers I got were incredible.
Melissa told me that there was a midwife named Donna Young and she had been delivering babies for years. She said that Donna had a very strict diet for her clients, but that the results were amazing. Melissa said that she gave birth at her parents’ house (because Donna does home-births) and that it was the best experience of her life and she loved the whole thing. Melissa said she was comfortable and happy and was so glad that she had chosen to use Donna - even though it was only about 6 or 8 weeks before her due date - because of the difference that it had made for her.
I was ecstatic. FINALLY I had found someone else who had had a 100% positive experience with giving birth. No one else that I had talked to had only good things to say. I mean, they said it was wonderful when all was said and done and they had their baby, but no one who said they enjoyed the entire thing since I had read Katrina’s blog. I was amazed, and once again hopeful for myself & my experience.
I asked Melissa to send me Donna’s contact information and when she did, I talked to Daniel about it. I told him how impressed I was with Melissa’s experience and how it was, seemingly, a very random conversation to have. I felt as though, whether or not we decided to use Donna, it was something that we should act on. Daniel was a little bit unsure, probably because I was as well (Giving birth at home??? Could or should we do that? I do want some ease-of-access to medical professionals in case of an emergency). After discussion, we decided to just call and see what Donna said.
{Week 20}
*****
When I called Donna for the first time, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had a list of questions that Daniel and I had come up with - one of the most important to us being whether or not she would support our use of Hypnobabies (which I was practicing daily and loving). When Donna answered the phone, I told her who I was and why I was calling and then she started asking me questions. I was surprised, but decided to just go with it. She asked me about my pregnancy up to that point - what had happened, how far along I was, etc. She asked me questions about my height, weight, and daily activities - as well as Daniel’s.
Then, Donna began telling me, with Daniel listening nearby, about her program. She told me that she was very strict with her girls and expected anyone who worked with her to follow instructions, including a diet and exercise plan, diligently. She told me that she had been very successful as a midwife for several years and had delivered hundreds of babies with very few ever having complications in any way. Donna told us about a website that we could go to (healthybabybirthing.com) that was set up by her to see more about what the program would entail. Donna told me straight out that her diet would have me drop completely all flour, sugar, carbonation, and dairy (except hard cheeses). She asked me if I could do that and I told her that I was willing to do anything to have a successful and enjoyable birth. Then I got to ask her my questions: financial, of course, but also where she delivers - not at the hospital, in your house, and a couple others. I saved the Hypnobabies question for last, and I was so glad I did. Donna said that she loved working with girls who used the Hypnobabies program and that she felt it was the only thing that she felt added to her program. So we were all set. We set up an appointment to meet in person the next week and talk some more and then said our farewells.
When I got off the phone, Daniel and I talked about the notes that I had taken. He had heard most of the conversation, but what he didn’t hear I was able to tell him about. We then both took in a deep breath, looked at each other, and asked the other what we were going to do. I still wanted to meet with Donna, but I didn’t want to have accidentally just committed myself to going through with everything by setting up an appointment with her. I was suddenly afraid and unsure of what I wanted and what we should do. Daniel told me that it was ultimately my choice and that he would support me no matter what because he wanted me to be happy and feel safe. Unfortunately, that didn’t help us to make a decision.
A couple days later, I ended up calling Donna again and telling her that we weren’t 100% sure if we wanted to do a home birth, and that I felt she should know that before coming to our appointment. She told me that was fine. She said that most girls would get scared away from the expectations of following diet, but that she thought that I sounded confident in myself and would be able to do it. That made me feel a little bit better, and we agreed to still meet and talk and see if we got along well together and then make our decision.
But I still felt unsure. I hated feeling unsure because I felt confident that Melissa had been prompted to tell me about Donna. It was so random and the timing so perfect that it couldn’t have been anything else. Plus, I had felt so great about calling Donna and talking with her. It wasn’t until after that I started to doubt. I didn’t know what to do and Daniel didn’t seem to have a firm opinion either way. Finally, I decided that we needed to go to the temple. It became a pressing need to the point where I told Daniel that we needed to get to the temple as soon as possible - later that day if we could.
I am so glad that we went. Being at the temple changed everything. As soon as I walked in, I felt peace and comfort. I was excited to feel the Spirit and be given direction as to what we should do. I knew that Daniel had come with a prayer in his heart as well, and I was confident that he would get an answer to our questions, too.
As part of the temple session, we learn about the Creation and Adam & Eve. The moment I thought about Eve, I knew what we needed to do. It came so clearly to my mind, and I spent the rest of the session with tears in my eyes as I thought about that wonderful woman. I gained a new appreciation and respect for Eve, what she did in her life, and her relationship with her husband and with God. It was one of the most eye-opening and incredible experiences of my life and I couldn’t wait to share with Daniel.
When Daniel & I sat together in the Celestial Room, we both looked at each other and smiled. Daniel said, “Well, I guess we’re doing a home birth” and it took all my self-control not to burst into tears and kiss him all over his face. I was so grateful that the Spirit had given Daniel the same answer that I had received. As we talked about it, we realized that we were both still nervous and unsure as to how everything would work out, but we were absolutely certain that everything would be ok and this was the path that God wanted us to be on. We knew that we would be watched over and protected - especially because we were doing the right thing for us.
Suddenly, instead of being nervous for our appointment with Donna Young, we were beyond excited.
***Disclaimer: I say ‘right thing for us’ because having a home birth may not be the correct or best option for everybody. This story is to give hope and share our story that is a little bit different than the average woman’s. I hope to enlighten and given new and added perspective to the most beautiful and wonderful thing that can happen to a woman and her husband. I am not trying to ‘convert’ anyone or say that everyone should do what we did because not everyone can or should.
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