I'm actually not sure that this is truly a "hot take" because that is a phrase for click-bait. But! It is something I want to address and keep note of.
So, we just got to do the most amazing production of "Finding Neverland" at VT:L. Truly, such a blessing and I am so grateful to the amazing people who were part of it and made it fantastic. It was magic and exceeded my expectations and was genuinely beautiful. I was amazed.
I had the misfortunate to notice two parents who came to support their child (who is an adult) in the show who, in previous productions, have told me thank you and complimented me on the show, and who did not on this one. The two performers in question I saw several weeks ago making side eyes at each other while another soloist was singing and appearing to be belittling the third performer. Now, I didn't confront them and demand they tell me what was said. And maybe I should have? But I let it go and decided to just watch and keep an eye on the two in question and make sure they were kind and nice during rehearsals and that the third performer didn't have any negative experiences with them specifically. And I think that worked out ok.
But the parents bugged me.
So here is the hot take: if your kid doesn't get the role they want (or you want for them) and they decide to do the show anyway, cheer them on where they are and don't tear down other people in the production.
Listen, as a teenager, I felt very vindicated a couple of times when my mom or grandma or someone would see a show I was in and tell me that I could have done as well as the lead. It made me feel "good" because I knew they saw me and loved me and could tell I was talented even if the director "looked past me". However, as I got older and performed in college and in community theatre more often, I realized how very demeaning that is to the entire theatre process.
It is so great to support our kids and believe in their dreams and tell them they are talented.
And every time you tell them that they "would have been better than person X", you are taking away from the whole experience - the casting process, the director's vision, the other performer's talent, AND your kid's opportunity to shine in the role they got.
It shows a lack of respect for the creative process, for fair auditions, for trusting a director, for being part of a group that requires a lot of puzzle pieces to fit in ways that you may not agree with, and takes away from the value that your kid feels in the production at the end of the day. Instead of "I did great where I was and performed to my potential and gave my all" it becomes "I wasted my time, I wasn't used in the best or right spot, the director and show were wrong" and that is an awful way to leave a show.
Have I felt dissatisfied in casting? Yes. Absolutely. Both as a performer and as an observer, I have seen cast lists and questioned the director's vision. I have been offended and hurt personally when I've felt "looked over" for a different performer when I KNOW I could do the role.
But theatre is never about one person. It's about a group. It's bringing together 4 to 10 to 20 to 30 different people with different experience and abilities and putting them all together to make the best show possible.
Hot take 2: that sometimes means that the "best" person doesn't get the lead.
Who decides what is "best" in theatre anyway? Is it the most extensive resume? The most previous lead roles? Who has the most experience outside of acting? Their professional/paid jobs? There is no one way to view who is best.
Everyone hates it, but honestly, a lot of the time it comes down to a feeling. A knowledge that THIS chemistry will work, but THAT won't. That these two people, while amazing friends in real life, when paired together in this show won't give what the director needs. Sometimes it's not even about the leads - it is about who is in the ensemble and who will gel well together and make strong groupings.
There is so much to love in theatre. Please don't take away from an experience that your kid or friend or sibling had by comparing them during the show. When the show is over, tell them they were great! Tell them what you loved about them. You don't even have to talk about any other part of the show. Just let them know you love them and then hype them up for the next time. Give them a reason to celebrate giving their best where they are rather than diminishing what they did this time and making them feel they only have value when they are the "star".
Someone can have an excellent experience onstage and then have audience members ruin it with their kindly meant comparisons. Please just don't.
Thank you. <3
