riding in the jeep

Hannalyn's favorite thing to do is be outside. She loves climbing and jumping and just walking on the grass. It is so funny to watch her go out of her way to get something she wants just so that she can walk on the grass. We haven't made it to the park yet this spring because I keep saying "tomorrow" and then it rains. We'll make it soon I hope. I'm excited to watch her explore.

Hannalyn also loves her grandpa Pearson's jeep. It is loud and the tires are bigger than she is and whenever she hears it coming down the street she gets excited. We were playing outside and she wanted to climb up in the jeep. She knows how to steer and loves that wheel. I won't tell you how I know. ;)

It's these little moments with Hannalyn that make everything awesome. She is such a light and so joyful.
She makes life good.

on taking a break

This week was my "break" week.

Meaning that I had no appointments, concerts, recitals, pressures, or other extra activities to take up my time and mind power. Just normal at-home stuff. Regular. Simple living to the fullest.

It was a hard week.

You'd think that a week off would be just what I needed. Truth be told, in some ways it was. I focused on getting paperwork for the theater finished and submitted. I did that. I focused on being near to my child at every moment I could. I did that. I focused on spending more time on my knees (my April resolution which I didn't blog about but still set. i'm so proud of me!). I did that. I tried to appreciate the nights reading while I rocked Hannalyn to sleep instead of trying to cram in other things that I couldn't put off any longer because the last minute had passed.

Ok. It was an ok week.

But I realized that while I don't love being over the top crazy busy hair tearing out moving like bumblebee busy, I do like having more to do than wake up, keep myself and my child alive, and go to bed. I think the "busy" gives me structure. It gives me a limit to the things I should do. I am able to set time limits on projects and then be more purposeful with how I spend the time I get with Hannalyn. Instead of lazing around thinking it's my week off, I have plenty of time "busy" helps me be proactive in choosing what I want my day to look like.

I guess there is a balance in everything.

After this week, I am SO ready for Camelot. Auditions, here we come! :)

This is what I chose

I have great respect for people who enroll their children in piano/voice lessons without understanding the true importance of it because at least they are trying.

As a private piano/voice teacher, I strive to do my best for my students and for myself. I believe I owe it to myself to give more than 100% in every lesson and in every class. Otherwise, all the teachers that I loved, respected, and looked up to over the years will be disappointed in me. Not because they'll know, but because I will know. Because I give so much of myself to my students, I genuinely care about each and every one of them. Even the snotty ones. ;) I really do. I care about them and their progression. I also care about their lives because we all know that teachers are really psychiatrists and that life outside of the lesson effects everything that happens inside it.

I know that even though I love my students, they may not love me. I know that even though I love my students, their parents which whom I seldom interact definitely don't love me. They see me as another bill to be paid during the month. Not as someone genuinely interested in their child's life. I am the glorified babysitter, the bill collector, the enforcer of a good trait that can be developed if there is extra time.

I guess what I wish I could say to everyone in the world - especially my students and their parents - is a reminder that I chose this life. I want to be a teacher, especially of children. Now, you may not understand this. You may think I'm crazy. The fact of the matter is, it takes all sorts to make this world. It takes teachers of children, teenagers, and adults. It takes people who know technology, who invent, who create, who explore.

I feel like I am an important part of these children's lives. I believe that music and the Arts are higher up on the list of importance than most others probably do. I have been trained both as an artist and as an educator. I paid thousands of dollars to receive my training and while I know I am definitely not the best, I am pretty good. I am definitely better than what I charge for lessons.

I am not in this profession to make money. If I were, I would charge double what I do. And the crazy thing is - people would pay that! I am in this profession of teaching music because I honestly believe that EVERY child should have the opportunity to participate in the Arts no matter their background or financial abilities. I believe that my expectations are low for my students. If they practice, great! If not, great! As long as they come to lessons I will continue to teach them to the best of my ability.

I CHOSE to teach. Not because I want money. Not because I have nothing better to do with my life. Not because I'm not good enough to do anything else (a student told me that once - people who play piano aren't good enough for anything else). Not because I have lots of extra time to spend sitting around on my butt and want to get paid for it.

I love music. I love children. I love teaching. I am in this profession because it has all three of those - music, children, teaching.

I wish I could make everyone understand that. I can't be the only music teacher who feels this way. I hope that somehow, sometime, I will find a student - just one - who feels the influence of music in a positive way and that carries that positivity with them through life. If I can do that, I will have done a good job and what I set out to do.

I love my students. I love music. This is MY life. I chose it, I want it, I will fight for it.

naptime

So here i am blogging while my toddler is snuggled in a blanket, asleep in my arms. It is naptime.

Naptime is bliss in my day. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my spunky and energetic 2 year old. I also sometimes need a breather so I can better love her in the afternoon.

I need naptime as a recharge for me. My brain, my smile, me energy. I eat, work, sit and stare at the wall, go to the bathroom, and very rarely sometimes sleep. But I don't count on that.

I also love naptime because it ensures 15 minutes of my day is spent nestled close to my angel from Heaven. 15 minutes just to watch her relax and dream. 15 minutes to hold her and tell her I love her over and over.

It's 15 minutes of Heaven and I love it.

the story of the birds

Once upon a time... ok. Not really. A few days ago.

I wish I had pictures. They would make this story much more interesting.

Daniel called me and told me there were two baby birds in our driveway. They seemed to have fallen out of the nest but we couldn't find a nest any where. We rigged up a box with a rag and tied it into the big tree in our front yard. We gently placed both little birds inside and left it. We added a hand warmer later in the evening to keep them warm during the night in case the mom didn't come back.

This morning when I left the house the box had tipped sideways. I righted it without looking inside. When I returned later in the day, the mom bird was sitting in the box!!! It was wonderfully rewarding. She watched me walk past. They are little pigeons.

Unfortunately, later in the day I left again and the box was on the ground. It seemed to have fallen in a wind storm. I ran to check on the babies and found one dead. I imagine the fall killed it. I was devastated. I mean, I knew it was more than likely both would die but to find it like that and wish I would have fixed the box better was so disappointing. I put the one still alive back in the box and left it at the base of the tree, going to my mom's house to enlist her help.

I did some researching online and was grateful to find that putting the baby back in a box in the tree was a good thing to do. Apparently it is an urban legend that birds won't come back if a human touches the baby. They are very paternal/maternal/whatever and will always come back if they hear the baby chirping. Birds can't smell, so it doesn't bug them if the baby is in a new nest. They'll still feed it and care for it as long as it isn't hopelessly injured.

So we got a new box and tied it down better. My mom even put in a couple of nails hoping that will hold it in the tree. We put paper towels in instead of rags and a new hand warmer. I got it settled in the tree and I'm hoping I never see it again - that I'll remember in a few weeks to check it and it will have flown away with mom for better and safer places.

What is the point of this story? I'm not really sure. Maybe there isn't one and that's ok.

It made me feel good to do something to try to help. I know there is a pretty good chance the baby won't survive, but I didn't leave it in the cold on the ground and I think that counts for something.

Life is full of life and death, endings and beginnings, starts and restarts. It also is full of chances to do something kind and helpful. Sometimes those things may not seem to matter, but even if they do not make a difference to those helped, it makes a difference in the helper. I am grateful to have tried to help and hope that I can always be kind to whomever needs my help - fowl or human-kind.

Parker is Home!

We drove. Our car got filthy dirty. We went through a car wash. We got breakfast. We drove again. And made it to the airport an hour and a half early. So then we went on the escalators several times, played in the bathroom, watched the luggage on the carousel, went on the escalators several more times, and were then rewarded by other family members arriving.

Then finally Parker showed up. :)

It's great to have everyone back together again. I love my these awesome goons!

Book Review: Love is Come (Matchmaker Series)

This book touched me deeply. Moore's writing is masterful and matches so well the feeling of the era in which she writes. This touching tale of a girl who's life in turned upside down is one that anyone who has ever experienced heartache will connect with. Nothing was easy for Nelle but she managed to persevere and find joy in life again. Nelle is blessed to have Pearl, the matchmaker who is the underlying link of the series, as her friend. Pearl guides Nelle through her sorrow and helps her begin to recognize the good around her. With Pearl's help, Nelle finds herself opening up to love in a this beautiful tale of loss, love, and faith in good things to come.