"what shall I do?"
a simple enough question, really, but one that I have realized I often do not ask with intent. Here is the backstory of why I'm thinking about this:
Ammon and his brothers went to the land of their enemies to teach them about God. This was incredibly dangerous - they went knowing there was a good chance they would not return to see their families again. Once they get there, Ammon has immense success teaching the people he is with. He shares the Gospel of Jesus Christ with the people, many choose to accept it and things are going great. Lamoni - the king of the people Ammon has been teaching - asks Ammon to go with him to meet his father. Ammon is told by the voice of the Spirit that he needs to go to a different part of the land and try to free his brothers from prison. Lamoni decides instead of journeying to see his father, he will join Ammon.
First of all, let's talk about how incredible God's timing is in all of this, shall we? I mean, briefly, but wow! On the way to free Ammon's brothers from prison, he and Lamoni meet Lamoni's father who is coming to visit Lamoni. So, Ammon met the father anyway, but in a place and at a time that was arranged by God. If Ammon had gone to the father's palace (or wherever he lived), he would have been surrounded by guards and probably immediately carted off to prison himself. As it was, he was in a place to meet the king of the land in a secluded area, one-on-one, where neither had an advantage - except God.
After an incredible encounter, Lamoni's father journeys with them to release Ammon's brothers from prison. They are released, Ammon returns with Lamoni and Ammon's brother Aaron then travels to see Lamoni's father.
One of the first questions Lamoni's father asks Aaron is "what shall I do" to receive this redemption? (paraphrased) Aaron says simply to ask for it and the king falls to his knees and proceeds to pray to God.
This really stood out to me last night in my reading. I ask a lot of different people what I need to do fairly often, I ask how I can help, where I am needed, what the expectation is, what should I do. And then I do it whether it's finding a hammer or picking up a child or making dinner. But as I read of Lamoni's father, I felt as though I was missing out on an opportunity. I found myself wondering if, like the king, I ask "what shall I do" and really intend to do what is requested or if I just go through the motions. I do all the things, but do I do it and live with intent and with purpose? Or just by the expectation?
When was the last time I asked God "what shall I do" and then prayed with sincerity and acted immediately on the response?
. . . I have some big decisions coming up this week, both for me and my family, and I'm a little bit terrified. It's been a rough couple of weeks and I've felt a bit uncomfortable growing in these new ways. It's definitely been growth though, and for that knowledge I am grateful because that means that God is behind this 100%. It doesn't take away the anxiety of not knowing what to do. But I do know what I should do. And I will pray until I know where God wants me to go next.
He will answer. He will give me direction. He is always here. And He is for you, as well.
September 30, 2019
September 24, 2019
stream of consciousness
i just need to get some thoughts down and out of my head. when i do this sort of writing, punctuation and grammar tend to go out the window. i'm not apologizing, more warning. ;) i love writing stream of consciousness because i think it is more open and real, more vulnerable and honest. it gets rid of the editing of thoughts and ideas to perfection and is straight from the heart . . . or head.
a couple of weeks ago, last week even, things were going great. matilda opened and was awesome. We sold out every night and i was thrilled to see the response of audience members. they ate it up with open arms and had a blast. i am so proud of that team and that cast. they worked their tails off and deserve all the accolades they are receiving.
two things though stand out as negatives and i haven't been able to shake them from my mind. the first was a night where i felt as though i wasn't being trusted to do my job. i had several people telling me what to do and how to do it differently than i was already doing it, without any chance to reply in between. i admit, i was short and curt in my replies which i regret and am not proud of. i also resent the assumption that i wasn't already aware of and fixing problems. since then it's just kind of been pushed to the side as we've all united to a common goal and got the show p and running. now we are having a post-production meeting and i admit that i am worried it will turn into a bashing or therapy session. i know that the meeting needs to happen - i would love feedback on what people need to feel more supported and aid to create productions that continue to improve. i also hate the targeting that sometimes happens in these meetings. i'm optimistic and we'll see how things go.
the other thing was an altercation with a patron who was trying to bring in four water bottles to the theatre. daniel stopped her and explained that the ticketing policy and the sign on the door say 'no outside food or drink'. they were welcome to return the bottles to their car or leave them at the counter, but the drinks were not permitted in the theatre. she got more than offended. she asked what we would do if she was diabetic and asked to speak to the owner, who unluckily enough for her is me. she said multiple times they would not leave the bottles in the car and i, kindly i thought, responded with the bottles would not be entering the theatre. eventually, she went outside, drank her water bottle and came in. later in the production, she came to get concessions at the counter and was very friendly. i braced myself for the one-star review on facebook that i was sure was coming but it never showed up and i figured she'd just had a rotten day.
the next day she commented on a post by our store that is next door where we sell treats in addition to concessions and put up a big stink about how that food shouldn't be let in the theatre because it's coming from a door outside the main theatre door. i rolled my eyes and ignored it.
more than a week later, today, i posted on the theatre's social media about classes we have coming up and this patron posted with "but remember not to take any food or drink because that's against their policy".
i deleted it.
and i wanted to scream! maybe it's just because of where i am personally right now (which a few days ago was lots better than today, which is life). but i just can't understand the bullying and belittling and that she is still hanging onto it. apparently that was some darn important water. i just don't get it. i feel so bad for her that she feels as though she needs to bring it up again.
the policy is there mainly as a courtesy to those who have to clean the theatre which while including me is mostly the actors on performance nights. they don't want to have to clean up drinks or slushies that smell weird or that they don't know the origin of. they don't want to step in gum or have mysterious substances on the floor. swedish fish make it gross enough.
it makes me sick to my stomach, even though a different patron came up to me after the altercation after the show and told me she thought i handled it amazingly well and calmly and that she appreciated me sticking up for my policies. so that was nice. i just hate HATE confrontation and this patron seems to want to pick a fight. i can't figure out why. if she didn't like it, she could just leave that one-star review and never return to the theatre, right? i think the problem is she KNOWS she was wrong and that posting that kind of review would not actually do anything because other patrons would see she is being ridiculous. instead, she'll comment on posts and be derogatory until . . . i'm not sure when. and that makes me the most frustrated of all.
so. here i am. blogging about a couple things that have been frustrating to me recently and trying to get them out of my head. but life hasn't been all frustrating, in fact, lots of it has been really great.
Hannalyn is progressing so amazingly well at school. i am so proud of her. just being with other kids in an environment where she has to focus and learn has been the greatest thing for her. at times, it makes me feel like a really crappy mom and i have to move past that and just celebrate what she will do for her teacher at school that she won't do at home.
i've been learning how to best use my time while hannalyn is at school so while she is home we can be together. i like that intentionality (made up word. ha) to my day. it gives me focus and helps me feel good about the things i am doing well (which some days feels more or less).
i stopped teaching piano lessons. mostly. i have one student who is sticking it out to december but the rest of them found new teachers and switched when i told them that after december i wouldn't be teaching any more. it's been hard and i miss it most of the time. not as much as i thought i would though and while that is kind of disappointing, it is also relieving because i know that God is leading me down this path called life. i loved teaching and i miss my students, but having the time in the afternoon to spend with hannalyn and go on errands and just sit without stressing about who is coming or not coming and when i'll have time to make dinner . . . it's the best. i'm so grateful that my students were mostly understanding and willing to be kind to me as i stepped away from that part of my life. maybe forever, maybe not, we'll just have to see.
and so we come to the end of my time here today. when i went to therapy this morning, after i spilled my guts and cried for a minute because it had been a rough couple of days, my therapist shared a scripture. Esther 4:14 (i think - i should fact check that, but i'm running out of time). basically it says "know ye not that ye were prepared for a time such as this?" and to me that means that God has prepared me for this. for TODAY. not just tomorrow and next year and when He comes again, but today. this moment right now. i am prepared for this and i have been prepared for this and so even though THIS may be big or small or crappy or good or whatever - He prepared me for this moment. and that means that i can make it through. crazy thoughts in my brain and all. ;)
so the moral of the story is - life is good and we are doing ok. hannalyn is amazing, but that's never changed. we are making it through - sometimes a moment at a time and sometimes more, but always making it because God prepared us to do so. and He never lets us down. what a comforting thought.
happy tuesday.
a couple of weeks ago, last week even, things were going great. matilda opened and was awesome. We sold out every night and i was thrilled to see the response of audience members. they ate it up with open arms and had a blast. i am so proud of that team and that cast. they worked their tails off and deserve all the accolades they are receiving.
two things though stand out as negatives and i haven't been able to shake them from my mind. the first was a night where i felt as though i wasn't being trusted to do my job. i had several people telling me what to do and how to do it differently than i was already doing it, without any chance to reply in between. i admit, i was short and curt in my replies which i regret and am not proud of. i also resent the assumption that i wasn't already aware of and fixing problems. since then it's just kind of been pushed to the side as we've all united to a common goal and got the show p and running. now we are having a post-production meeting and i admit that i am worried it will turn into a bashing or therapy session. i know that the meeting needs to happen - i would love feedback on what people need to feel more supported and aid to create productions that continue to improve. i also hate the targeting that sometimes happens in these meetings. i'm optimistic and we'll see how things go.
the other thing was an altercation with a patron who was trying to bring in four water bottles to the theatre. daniel stopped her and explained that the ticketing policy and the sign on the door say 'no outside food or drink'. they were welcome to return the bottles to their car or leave them at the counter, but the drinks were not permitted in the theatre. she got more than offended. she asked what we would do if she was diabetic and asked to speak to the owner, who unluckily enough for her is me. she said multiple times they would not leave the bottles in the car and i, kindly i thought, responded with the bottles would not be entering the theatre. eventually, she went outside, drank her water bottle and came in. later in the production, she came to get concessions at the counter and was very friendly. i braced myself for the one-star review on facebook that i was sure was coming but it never showed up and i figured she'd just had a rotten day.
the next day she commented on a post by our store that is next door where we sell treats in addition to concessions and put up a big stink about how that food shouldn't be let in the theatre because it's coming from a door outside the main theatre door. i rolled my eyes and ignored it.
more than a week later, today, i posted on the theatre's social media about classes we have coming up and this patron posted with "but remember not to take any food or drink because that's against their policy".
i deleted it.
and i wanted to scream! maybe it's just because of where i am personally right now (which a few days ago was lots better than today, which is life). but i just can't understand the bullying and belittling and that she is still hanging onto it. apparently that was some darn important water. i just don't get it. i feel so bad for her that she feels as though she needs to bring it up again.
the policy is there mainly as a courtesy to those who have to clean the theatre which while including me is mostly the actors on performance nights. they don't want to have to clean up drinks or slushies that smell weird or that they don't know the origin of. they don't want to step in gum or have mysterious substances on the floor. swedish fish make it gross enough.
it makes me sick to my stomach, even though a different patron came up to me after the altercation after the show and told me she thought i handled it amazingly well and calmly and that she appreciated me sticking up for my policies. so that was nice. i just hate HATE confrontation and this patron seems to want to pick a fight. i can't figure out why. if she didn't like it, she could just leave that one-star review and never return to the theatre, right? i think the problem is she KNOWS she was wrong and that posting that kind of review would not actually do anything because other patrons would see she is being ridiculous. instead, she'll comment on posts and be derogatory until . . . i'm not sure when. and that makes me the most frustrated of all.
so. here i am. blogging about a couple things that have been frustrating to me recently and trying to get them out of my head. but life hasn't been all frustrating, in fact, lots of it has been really great.
Hannalyn is progressing so amazingly well at school. i am so proud of her. just being with other kids in an environment where she has to focus and learn has been the greatest thing for her. at times, it makes me feel like a really crappy mom and i have to move past that and just celebrate what she will do for her teacher at school that she won't do at home.
i've been learning how to best use my time while hannalyn is at school so while she is home we can be together. i like that intentionality (made up word. ha) to my day. it gives me focus and helps me feel good about the things i am doing well (which some days feels more or less).
i stopped teaching piano lessons. mostly. i have one student who is sticking it out to december but the rest of them found new teachers and switched when i told them that after december i wouldn't be teaching any more. it's been hard and i miss it most of the time. not as much as i thought i would though and while that is kind of disappointing, it is also relieving because i know that God is leading me down this path called life. i loved teaching and i miss my students, but having the time in the afternoon to spend with hannalyn and go on errands and just sit without stressing about who is coming or not coming and when i'll have time to make dinner . . . it's the best. i'm so grateful that my students were mostly understanding and willing to be kind to me as i stepped away from that part of my life. maybe forever, maybe not, we'll just have to see.
and so we come to the end of my time here today. when i went to therapy this morning, after i spilled my guts and cried for a minute because it had been a rough couple of days, my therapist shared a scripture. Esther 4:14 (i think - i should fact check that, but i'm running out of time). basically it says "know ye not that ye were prepared for a time such as this?" and to me that means that God has prepared me for this. for TODAY. not just tomorrow and next year and when He comes again, but today. this moment right now. i am prepared for this and i have been prepared for this and so even though THIS may be big or small or crappy or good or whatever - He prepared me for this moment. and that means that i can make it through. crazy thoughts in my brain and all. ;)
so the moral of the story is - life is good and we are doing ok. hannalyn is amazing, but that's never changed. we are making it through - sometimes a moment at a time and sometimes more, but always making it because God prepared us to do so. and He never lets us down. what a comforting thought.
happy tuesday.
September 21, 2019
Season 4 at Vernal Theatre: LIVE
We opened our fourth Season at Vernal Theatre: LIVE on September 13 (Roald Dahl day) with the new musical 'Matilda' and it was positively stellar. Such an incredible experience. We had so much fun and learned so much!
Pictures below are 1: My sister Megan as Miss Honey w/ Matilda, 2: the full cast picture w/ Daniel on the top L as Rudolpho, and 3: a super cool shot of the aerial acrobatics that we did for this production.
It was a great opener to a great Season. We can't wait for the rest of the shows. It's going to be so much fun!
Thank you to the cast and crew for such an incredible experience. Thank you for your talent and devotion to the theatre, for your sacrifice of time and willingness to do anything and everything for this show. Thank you for being so so amazing!
September 16, 2019
please send the invite
Daniel and I were invited to spend Sunday afternoon with a family in our ward playing games and eating cookies. It was Hannalyn's Primary Teacher and we had a delightful time. Seriously so much fun. We didn't stay long because Daniel had meetings, but Hannalyn loved playing with their youngest daughter and we played some new games which we always love doing.
After we left though, I felt melancholy. And that made me sad because I didn't want to be sad about such a lovely, relaxed and fun afternoon.
I finally realized that I felt sad because I realized that, other than a few outings to the park, it is the first time that my family has been invited any where. To do any thing. With any one. In . . . possibly a year or more.
Now, I love going to park with my friend & her boys and NOTHING is more precious to me than those hours at the park every other week. I love that time. And we take turns setting the day and time which is so perfect and chill and wonderful.
But the last time I was invited somewhere was to lunch on my birthday. In February.
And before that . . . maybe my birthday the year before? Oh sure - we talk about doing things all the time. But it never happens. We get busy and they get busy and suddenly a year has passed.
I got really sad about this for a moment. And then I had an epiphany.
I will never be the reason that someone feels this way.
I never want to be the one that doesn't send an invitation and someone goes weeks, months, years! without being invited. This is SO HARD for me because I feel like I am annoying. Seriously. I text so people so many times about so many things that it is a wonder to me that my number isn't blocked (maybe it is and I just don't know). I have had several conversations with God about this issue. And you know what He told me?
I never stop inviting you. Even when you don't answer.
And I felt that so deep in my soul that I knew that no matter what, if I feel impressed to invite someone even if I know they can't come, by golly I'll invite them anyway. Even - and especially - when it's hard.
My challenge to you is to send the invite. It's hard. It's scary. The house is messy and the children need to go to bed. It's been the worst week and there is not an extra hour to talk. Send the invite anyway. It does both you - and them - a world of difference. I promise.
Just getting the text made me smile and feel lighter than I had in days (even though I secretly admit I almost blew it off because I was anxious and worried). Just knowing that someone was thinking about my family made my WEEK. It was so simple to do and it meant the world to this introvert and her family.
September 14, 2019
where am i going with this?
I had a couple of interesting experiences this week that have made me think a lot:
+ A friend told me that someone else told them they are "fed up with the theatre".
+ A patron tried to bring four water bottles in to the theatre and then make a scene when I told her that she could not, questioned what I would do if she were diabetic. (she wasn't)
+ The computer running our sound system shut off in the middle of the performance muting all mics.
+ A Season Ticket Holder called and told me I was sold out of 'Matilda' tickets. I said yes we are and she said she'd redeem them faster next time.
+ Hannalyn was so excited for stories before bed that she blew a trumpet "doo doo doo"
+ Hannalyn's primary teacher invited us to her house to play games.
+ I told all my piano students that I won't be teaching after December.
+ One piano student decided to just stop now, though just for a minute til he gets in with a new teacher, five years to the week that he started with me.
All interesting and unrelated. Some hard some good. Some to be learned from and some to not be taken personally (though that is SO hard).
I keep thinking that if I get pregnant now I would have a baby in June . . . which has nothing to do with anything.
Why do I blog? Why am I writing this? Who is going to read it? How will they judge me? Sometimes I wish that certain people would see it though not because I show it to them because I can be passive-aggressive and want them to know things without me having to say it. Sometimes I wish that no one read my blog . . .
Maybe that's where I need to end it. I just about closed this page & discarded the draft altogether because why write and post if no one should read it?
Where am I going with this? I have not the slightest clue. Do you know how terrifying that is? I had a plan my whole life. Getting married and starting a family threw me for a loop a little cuz I had "done" that and didn't have another thing to do (as God laughed and threw me a theatre). Now . . . I am not sure I have a plan. Well, I do in some things.
Nashelle's 5 Step Plan:
- not give up on having a baby but not lose sight of the perfect child we have
- keep improving in therapy to where I can do this without it
- read my scriptures every day like the lifeline they are
- pray pray pray pray pray pray pray for my family and my business so I do what I can do right and with God's guidance and help
- get out of bed every morning determined to be and do better
oh and six
- love Daniel better and harder and stronger and so he knows it
So where am I going? To a better and happier place - and I don't mean Heaven (though that is the ultimate goal). But within myself, within this sphere, within this life that I am living. The point, as always I guess, is to remind myself that sucky things that happen are just that - sucky things that happen. They don't need to define my life or my day or my hour. They come and they go but it is the parts of my life that don't come and go - that stay - that matter: my family, my God and the life I want to live with and for them. Because life with and for them is pretty darn awesome.
Pretty darn. :)
+ A friend told me that someone else told them they are "fed up with the theatre".
+ A patron tried to bring four water bottles in to the theatre and then make a scene when I told her that she could not, questioned what I would do if she were diabetic. (she wasn't)
+ The computer running our sound system shut off in the middle of the performance muting all mics.
+ A Season Ticket Holder called and told me I was sold out of 'Matilda' tickets. I said yes we are and she said she'd redeem them faster next time.
+ Hannalyn was so excited for stories before bed that she blew a trumpet "doo doo doo"
+ Hannalyn's primary teacher invited us to her house to play games.
+ I told all my piano students that I won't be teaching after December.
+ One piano student decided to just stop now, though just for a minute til he gets in with a new teacher, five years to the week that he started with me.
All interesting and unrelated. Some hard some good. Some to be learned from and some to not be taken personally (though that is SO hard).
I keep thinking that if I get pregnant now I would have a baby in June . . . which has nothing to do with anything.
Why do I blog? Why am I writing this? Who is going to read it? How will they judge me? Sometimes I wish that certain people would see it though not because I show it to them because I can be passive-aggressive and want them to know things without me having to say it. Sometimes I wish that no one read my blog . . .
Maybe that's where I need to end it. I just about closed this page & discarded the draft altogether because why write and post if no one should read it?
Where am I going with this? I have not the slightest clue. Do you know how terrifying that is? I had a plan my whole life. Getting married and starting a family threw me for a loop a little cuz I had "done" that and didn't have another thing to do (as God laughed and threw me a theatre). Now . . . I am not sure I have a plan. Well, I do in some things.
Nashelle's 5 Step Plan:
- not give up on having a baby but not lose sight of the perfect child we have
- keep improving in therapy to where I can do this without it
- read my scriptures every day like the lifeline they are
- pray pray pray pray pray pray pray for my family and my business so I do what I can do right and with God's guidance and help
- get out of bed every morning determined to be and do better
oh and six
- love Daniel better and harder and stronger and so he knows it
So where am I going? To a better and happier place - and I don't mean Heaven (though that is the ultimate goal). But within myself, within this sphere, within this life that I am living. The point, as always I guess, is to remind myself that sucky things that happen are just that - sucky things that happen. They don't need to define my life or my day or my hour. They come and they go but it is the parts of my life that don't come and go - that stay - that matter: my family, my God and the life I want to live with and for them. Because life with and for them is pretty darn awesome.
Pretty darn. :)
September 11, 2019
a day of remembrance
This morning as I helped Hannalyn get out of the car, my feet froze. I set her on the ground, pulled her backpack out of the car and then felt stuck. It took me a minute to figure out that I was scared. Isn't that crazy? For the first time, I was scared to send my daughter to school.
I'd been thinking about September 11, 2001 as we all do when the anniversary rolls around. My grandfather was in Oman/Yemen at the time doing research. I remember getting home and my mom being clearly upset in her worry. You see, no one had heard from him since the day before and even though he was out in the wilderness, and most likely safe, it was a scary time. We were so relieved to get the call that my grandma had gotten a call late that night that he was safe and ok and the group was going to start trying to work their way home.
I remember sitting in school, in the dark band room with the news on while my band teacher was trying to call someone. I think it was her nephew? Or someone who was supposed to be in New York. She didn't think he was in danger, but wanted to hear his voice. I remember crying and not knowing why. As I got home and sat on my mom's bed watching the footage play over and over and over again, I remember that I would jump at every sound. I kept looking out the window to see if I could see a plane. When I went to school the next day, I was terrified to go into the building because I didn't feel safe. I wanted to be with my family so I wouldn't be one separated from my family.
Obviously I didn't have a firm grasp of the distance between New York and Vernal, Utah. I just remember everyone being afraid.
This has been a hard week. And it's only Wednesday! (eye roll at myself, yes, I deserve it) Hannalyn is having a hard time at school because of late nights at the theatre. I know that is what it is and I am struggling to find a solution. Because she is struggling, I am struggling. I spend my days wrapped in fear wondering if today I get another call and how much longer we can do this and how in the world did I end up being such a lousy mom?
I mean, when satan attacks, he attacks hard.
I have a pit in my stomach which usually means that something hard is coming. I feel like I'm already in hard so what else is there? *sigh*
This post is not meant to be a list of complaints or "woe is me".
I had a teacher in the 8th grade who I've remembered always for one particular lesson. He told a story about a girl who saw a problem, and instead of complaining about it like everyone else was doing, came up with and implemented a solution. This girl was in the grade older than me. Her brother was in a car accident. A really bad one that could have been worse, but was bad enough. The families living in her area had complained about not having a stop light at this particular intersection for years. YEARS! There were several accidents there and people knew it was dangerous, but all they did was say it was dangerous and complain about how no one would fix it. All it took was a 15 year old girl to get a petition, make a case to the city, and less than 6 months later they had a stop light. She didn't sit around complaining. She went and did the job.
The teacher's point was that anyone can complain. And everyone does. All it takes is someone to make a change.
Today I challenge you to be the someone. Instead of complaining about the weather, share your umbrella. Instead of complaining about the lack of customer service, wipe down your own table when you finish. Instead of complaining about how a business is run, take your concerns to the owner and get it addressed. Instead of complaining like everyone, be a someone and do something about it.
Our country is really great about banding together in dark times. During tragedies, the bright lights of good people shine and spread throughout the nation.
As we remember 9-11, can we remember to take that unity, kindness, benefit of doubt, courage and gratitude into the rest of the year? Or maybe just even the rest of the week. I think we'd be surprised at the difference we see.
9-11 was full of a bunch of someones. Someone who pulled out another someone out of the rubble. It wasn't just anybody - it was someone's father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle . . . Be someone.
I'd been thinking about September 11, 2001 as we all do when the anniversary rolls around. My grandfather was in Oman/Yemen at the time doing research. I remember getting home and my mom being clearly upset in her worry. You see, no one had heard from him since the day before and even though he was out in the wilderness, and most likely safe, it was a scary time. We were so relieved to get the call that my grandma had gotten a call late that night that he was safe and ok and the group was going to start trying to work their way home.
I remember sitting in school, in the dark band room with the news on while my band teacher was trying to call someone. I think it was her nephew? Or someone who was supposed to be in New York. She didn't think he was in danger, but wanted to hear his voice. I remember crying and not knowing why. As I got home and sat on my mom's bed watching the footage play over and over and over again, I remember that I would jump at every sound. I kept looking out the window to see if I could see a plane. When I went to school the next day, I was terrified to go into the building because I didn't feel safe. I wanted to be with my family so I wouldn't be one separated from my family.
Obviously I didn't have a firm grasp of the distance between New York and Vernal, Utah. I just remember everyone being afraid.
This has been a hard week. And it's only Wednesday! (eye roll at myself, yes, I deserve it) Hannalyn is having a hard time at school because of late nights at the theatre. I know that is what it is and I am struggling to find a solution. Because she is struggling, I am struggling. I spend my days wrapped in fear wondering if today I get another call and how much longer we can do this and how in the world did I end up being such a lousy mom?
I mean, when satan attacks, he attacks hard.
I have a pit in my stomach which usually means that something hard is coming. I feel like I'm already in hard so what else is there? *sigh*
This post is not meant to be a list of complaints or "woe is me".
I had a teacher in the 8th grade who I've remembered always for one particular lesson. He told a story about a girl who saw a problem, and instead of complaining about it like everyone else was doing, came up with and implemented a solution. This girl was in the grade older than me. Her brother was in a car accident. A really bad one that could have been worse, but was bad enough. The families living in her area had complained about not having a stop light at this particular intersection for years. YEARS! There were several accidents there and people knew it was dangerous, but all they did was say it was dangerous and complain about how no one would fix it. All it took was a 15 year old girl to get a petition, make a case to the city, and less than 6 months later they had a stop light. She didn't sit around complaining. She went and did the job.
The teacher's point was that anyone can complain. And everyone does. All it takes is someone to make a change.
Today I challenge you to be the someone. Instead of complaining about the weather, share your umbrella. Instead of complaining about the lack of customer service, wipe down your own table when you finish. Instead of complaining about how a business is run, take your concerns to the owner and get it addressed. Instead of complaining like everyone, be a someone and do something about it.
Our country is really great about banding together in dark times. During tragedies, the bright lights of good people shine and spread throughout the nation.
As we remember 9-11, can we remember to take that unity, kindness, benefit of doubt, courage and gratitude into the rest of the year? Or maybe just even the rest of the week. I think we'd be surprised at the difference we see.
9-11 was full of a bunch of someones. Someone who pulled out another someone out of the rubble. It wasn't just anybody - it was someone's father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle . . . Be someone.
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