I have an unpopular opinion. I see things differently than most.
I talk to God, He talks to me, and drink chocolate with my toast.
Normally this doesn't bother me, this different opinion that I hold,
Until I am ashamed to talk when I don't fit the mold.
You see . . .
my whole life I've been afraid to be the object of your fun
When you tease me for standing out, not grouping, being one.
Because we group with people who we like and those who think the same,
So it's not your fault we disagree, it's mine. I take that blame.
I like you. A lot. And I want to spend time together
with friends and family doing anything, no matter the weather.
But not right now, of course, because I have to keep my distance.
And what happens when this is posted and you read my stance?
Will you be my friend? Will you understand me?
Will you rage or laugh or scorn this feeling deep inside me?
It's gone both ways, I'm sad to say, throughout my entire life.
It's usually fine, but like today, I struggle with the strife.
I don't like to argue. I don't like to fight.
What then can I do when I stand for what I think is right?
And what is "right" anyway? What is good for you or me?
How is it possible for any ONE to see the right for everybody?
God can, of course, and so learn to trust in Him, His plan.
We learn to love each other and to make a righteous stand.
So what I am about to say, I say with lots of care.
I pray the message flies straight and true like arrows in the air.
Please stop being afraid.
Please stop sharing things that are not about your city/county/state and scaring people who don't source-check.
Please stop sharing information from a week ago - things have changed.
Please listen to the health officials - trusted ones, repeatedly sourced & cited.
Please look at the real numbers.
Please remember that social distance is not social isolation.
Please know that emotional isolation is a very real possibility resulting from social distancing and it will hurt you.
Please check in on your people.
Please pray. Please worship. Please study.
Please don't think "this time" has to look like anything at all. Whether you gain/lose weight. Whether you school or not. Whether you are outside or not. Your life has never looked like someone else's, why are we trying to force ourselves to now?
Please stop the rumor mill.
Please be a friend.
Please create.
Please remember you are loved. When you are most hopeful - you are loved. When you are most scared - you are loved. When you are most content - you are loved. When you are most concerned - you are loved.
You are loved.
I made some significant-to-me life changes from December through now. I haven't shared about them because I am a "thin girl" with no business sharing about my body.
I have not made many life changes with this social-distancing other than focusing more on Hannalyn because she is home more. I haven't posted about that because I'm not "schooling enough".
I have felt sorry for myself at least once a day when I feel as though social-distancing is my life because even when this restriction on social gatherings wasn't in place I still wasn't invited anywhere. (This is not made up - I can count on one hand the number of times I was invited somewhere in the last year, and each time was for work or with my family. So ya, I feel sorry for myself.) But I haven't posted about it because other people have it worse than me.
I have a theory. I'm putting it on the internet for all to see.
The last positive test case of COVID-19 in Utah will be on or before April 8. After that, there will be no more positive tests. *I reserve the right to withdraw this theory if a group of idiots goes and licks sick people. Because, life.
You know what that means? April 8 as the last positive test and then following is TWENTY-TWO DAYS OF ISOLATION because of President Trump's order for social distancing measures to last until May 1. And because people are afraid. And because local government won't be willing to question or test or try.
And really, can I blame them? No. Unfortunately, I admit I do resent them a little.
So what do we do when the world falls apart?
What do we do when life breaks our heart?
How do we pull ourselves together again?
Can we possibly manage this road's bend?
We can. We will. We must.
For we are not fighters who turn into dust.
Our lives become legend to our daughters and sons
Who hear our stories and will someday be the ones
To carry the banner. To stand straight and true.
To pray for courage and to know what to do.
We press on with faith, no matter how dark.
We fight on anyway, because we know our mark.
Our mark is our Savior. His love brings us home.
He is the only one who never leaves us alone.
So when I'm afraid. When I'm angry and screaming,
When I'm feeling content or, more likely, just be-ing.
When I'm proud of myself for not writing a comment
That would stir up the masses like bees in a bonnet.
When I keep my unpopular opinion to myself,
When I feel like my life is waiting up on a shelf,
I take a deep breath. Or two. Or ten.
I take a deep breath, and then do it again.
I look at my daughter and at my best friend.
I pray to God and know it will be alright before the end.
PS If you want to comment about how my words don't really rhyme . . . don't. :)
